ARCHIVE OF 'china IV'
180 DEGREES
It has been only month, that I wrote about my life and thoughts and many things which surrounds me. After my last entry many things changed. My girlfriend Shawnee came to visit me in Shanghai by the end of december. We loved each so much … so we thought of showing that love through a BABY. I will be a father and it feels so great to know. I always wanted to have children and now .. I will have some. She will move here in one week with her daughter who is 9 years old.
I also have found an apartment which is half an hour to walk away from my office, where I found this job. I am senior Art Director and work in surprise ……………. Advertising. Well, I can make money with it and keep in mind, that I actually want to make my money with photography. it pays the bills and is actually not bad. The people are fun to work with and its a very small company too. Actually I made the website for them too.
So basically from arriving with one suitcase in the beginning of september in Nanjing, without a job, no apartment, not much money left and a girlfriend who is very far and not pregnant, I now have all these things within 4 months. I really like the idea that everything is going to be a little more stable now, hopefully she and I will stay a while at one place. I actually imagined, that since 2003 I didn’t stay at any place really longer than half a year. I somehow did in Hamburg before I went to China, but even there I stayed 3 of 8 months out of the country. It feels good somehow that I have arrived and I like all these challenges here, apartment, job, language, family, … yeahhhh.
I somehow got some Emails the past few weeks from various people who wrote me out of the blue to tell me how great my photography is. Especially this guy from Statesville, NC really cheered me up and keeps me thinking about not giving it up with these words:
“I noticed your work when a neighbor showed it to me. I am now very inspired by your work! I’ve always wanted to be a photographer just like you! I’m planning on becoming a photographer later on in life. I’m 14 now but I’m practicing,learning, and working hard to achieve becoming a photographer! I love your work… don’t ever stop what you’re doing! Your photos are very interesting and wonderful to look at as it gives you a chance to think about or be put in someone else’s shoes as you travel to other countries to capture photos of the innocent children and people in other countries. Thank you for everything!”
My decision was the right one and again I can trust myself I am doing the right choices and moves in life. I am still on my way to figure out how to do only things that makes everybody, including me, happy and its good to be on this way: everything is very difficult, so is it perfect.
All the best from Shanghai, where everybody is welcome to stay at my place.
Florian, thanks for reading.
CEREMONY IN THE FRONT YARD
Chanting, drumming and praying I could follow this little ceremony with my camera for about 5 minutes. Still wondering what I saw I will start asking people, showing around the photo, what I saw. Have a good start in the day.
NO NEED FOR A HEADLINE HERE I GUESS
This picture I took today on the wedding I photographed in Nanjing. I like it a lot. That’s exactly the kind of picture I like to take in my head. Maybe its the first time I just uploaded a copy of the image from my head instead of a photograph. Oh yeahh. Just wanted to share this. Now, the following lines will be my thoughts I had on the train from Shanghai to Nanjing.
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Sitting in the train to Nanjing, I listen to the music I used to listen when I went for a run to the lake and around it, close to my place in Hamburg, where I lived. Listen to that music creates the images I have of that area, the people I lived with, the food I cooked and ate, but also brings me back to the way I felt during this time. Its almost like the music is the necessary button to push to project the movie on the screen. I have music that reminds me of certain times at certain places. It is a premise though that I listened to that particular music a lot and also had a special feeling, a special time at those places. Otherwise it doesn’t work.
When I now listen to that music I used to listen in Germany, it reminds me of Germany as other music reminds me of other places in this world I am not from. Does it mean I lost the feeling of being home in Germany? The last 8 months (6 months actually only, because of 8 weeks traveling) now just seems to be another stop on my world travel and I can’t really feel the difference anymore between my stop in New Zealand or China or Vietnam. Yes they are differences where ever I lived, where ever I stayed for a while. Different things that make me happy or bring me down. But non of those places feel like “That’s where I am from” anymore. Non of those places feel like breathing through and be who I am. Non of those places give me the feeling of “I have arrived”, “I came back, to where I belong to”. I became a citizen of the world. In English it sounds way more dramatic than it is. The german translation “Ein Bewohner dieser Erde” simply describes the name of the planet I live on.
In exchange of getting to know new cultures, speak new languages, see new geological wonders, I had to trade my home base. The base known as the place where I would be safe. Where I would be more taken care of. Its not like this anymore though. For sure not. Every place asks you to give your best, to except the rules, to get accustomed to a different way of life. It feels like I lost that base. Did I ever had it? Yes. I had it at a time where I didn’t experience different places, different options to live. To sometimes know less can be great. But I longed for it, so I have to deal with it now.
How was I supposed to know that back in the time when I decided to travel the world and take a break, I would change so much. That I am not just gonna come back, tell people about my adventures and sit down at the desk I used to work again was for sure. But further to the point where I would start a new chapter of my life and without the possibility to flip the pages backwards, oops, I guess I was to naive to think I could actually do that. Well I guess nobody really knew it and knows what is going to happen when starting such adventures.
I don’t want to complain, just explain. If the travel mode wouldn’t suit me
so well, I wouldn’t have decided to extend my trip for 6 months and now finally move away from Germany without any idea of a time when I will return again.
The funny thing is, what I am doing now isn’t that unique at all. Many people from all around the world wander around the globe to find their luck, peace, happiness, whatever they seek for. Everyone of those globetrotters is excited to be somewhere else, because nobody really misses the place they are from. They maybe miss the people and the food. hehe.
To live somewhere else for a longer time claims that you need to give up certain behaviors you grew up with. To do new things you haven’t learned in the place you lived before. And the more you change the place you live, the more you need to deal with your new environment. So there is less time to concentrate on yourself and I think many people like that. A life where its more important to be at a certain place than being yourself. It is great to travel the world, to see all these “other” things. The price I need to pay is to give up a piece of myself: My Home.
SHANGHAI 25° C
Hellooooooooooo people from the world, China and Germany. Maybe also Pakistan or India. (Or Russia, who knows) Whoever reads that blog, I am happy to see you here. After 2 and a half weeks in the states with my girlfriend Shawn Kathleen Russell, her daughter Zoe and actually the entire family, I am back in Shanghai. Actually I had serious breathing problems over there in Seattle. The air was so dry, that I had to pick my nose all the time. I guess I appeared as such a rude guy, people didn’t believe I am German. Now, back in 60% humidity, my nose holes are free like a bird and I can concentrate on more important facts. Sweating for instance. Its so hot here. Today we had 27°C and I can’t believe its almost November.
I do have a couple of jobs now I am working on which is a logo for a music producer in Hamburg, a website for a advertising company in Shanghai and a wedding I gonna photograph on the weekend in Nanjing. And lets see what else comes in next week. More meetings.
The picture you see above is the look out from my room I live in temporarily until the end of January. On this picture we can see the rising sun and the downtown monster buildings close to Jing’An temple. Well dear friends, that’s it. So far so good.
AND ANOTHER NEW BEGINNING.
Now, a month later, I eventually arrived in my new home. Shanghai, Jing’ An District. I share my apartment with a bloke from England, and a couple from Iran and the Philippines. Very international as you can see. It took me a long time to relax and calm down from all the moving around stress. I met already a lot of different people and its great to get a little overview of Shanghai, a city I don’t really know very well. But for sure I can say that I have a good feeling here. I like this city. Today, the first time after 30 days I want to go out and take pictures again. I will try to just enjoy what I am doing and don’t think about how great the picture has to be. I don’t really have much more to say. The illustrations you see above is for an event in Hamburg, Knust. Ok.. I am not very creative in writing today. Take care people and make love.