我 在 北京。天气 真好。I AM IN BEIJING. THE WEATHER IS GREAT.

Yesterday I arrived in Beijing, the fourth time I am in China now. The next 4 weeks I am going to travel south to Guizhou. I hope to find interesting stories, meet old friends, take pictures, look for univercities to study. My idea to enrole into a program came a couple of days ago, when I realized that I can’t afford living in Germany anymore. I probably could somehow, but I would need to do jobs I don’t want to do. Here in China, its easier to get jobs to finance your life and on top of that I am in a good place to photograph. Lets see where this all leads. Probably to life. Just another different life, lived by decisions, hope and doubts. One more thing: its such a cool thing how much I remember my chinese.

AMPLIFY THE SUN

Since a couple of weeks I really feel what it means to be self employed. It means you are responsible for yourself. Fully. And to be responsible for yourself in a crisis is the most beautiful thing I probably have chosen the past years. I thought about getting a job. Worked in two bars for half the money (4 euros an hour) without tip and didn’t get one of them. The first one, the owner couldn’t handle it when I told him he’s got an assholish attitude towards his employees. After a couple of hidden racist comments from him I couldn’t shut up anymore. What an Asshole. So, I told the guy from the other restaurant I worked for (3 euros an hour) and he told me I am probably to late. I didn’t call earlier, because I thought I get the job in the ‘Asshole-Bar’. Well, now: No job. Anyways. Fuck off. I noticed, that I got way more aggressive towards other people. This difficult situation I am in where nothing is clear and everything is open and I can’t hold on to anything is not easy indeed. Instead of swimming in a boat along the banks, I am floating on a wooden piece in the middle of a broad river. I do have plans, a lot of plans. I just don’t know how to realize anything. I lost the last bit of hope and faith. From now on, it can go only upwards. You never know though. My plans to get my own appartment is still my dream. I can’t afford it. To go to China would be a solution too. Although, I donät really know if I am just running away again. So, I’ll stay in Hamburg, look for a new place to live and safe money. I wish I could amplify my power and courage to do new things and are open to anything. Whatever. Just another entry in my blog probably.

POST OR NOT TO POST

It took my a while to decide posting the wedding pictures from Amelie & Roland I took a week ago. Its not that I’m ashamed for doing wedding photography, I actually really enjoyed it. Its just not really the photography I stand for usually. Anyways, a selection of 5 is posted below. Enjoooooooooy.
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SCHANZENFEST | WHAT A NIGHT

After one month not writing anything on my blog I thought its time to tell what I am doing and what I did the past 4 weeks. The highlight for the month of June was for sure my internship with DPA. Since I’ve been there my hunger for photojournalism has been grown. But still it looks really bad to earn any money with photography right now. Everybody is saving money, and even well known photographers have to get the “in-need-ration” from their accounts. So, all I can do is carry on taking pictures. (I think I said a couple of months ago already, anyways). Actually I earned my first money with photography, shooting a wedding. Even though I like what I did, I don’t like to show it either here nor on my website.

Lets talk about yesterday night: At the Schanzenfest, many capitalism enemies found together to celebrate life. Only a couple of seconds later the official end was announced through a microphone from a music stage, the first bottles flew through the air. I found myself in a middle of a big fight within less than a minute. First, crazy than I began to photograph and got used to the situation pretty quick. I just needed to be careful with bottles coming from above.
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