What I wrote today in the morning sun:

Again, its coming: Just to enjoy life. Don’t think about any pressure of traveling, job opportunities, money, things you need to organize. Its such a beautiful pure feeling. A goose bump goes from your toes to the tip of your hair and back into your toes. Since I experienced this feeling already I know its not a state of being for long. You get thrown back into society, into responsibility and agreements with others who surround you.

But the more you experience this state of being, the easier you get back into it. And since I know from the awesome movie “I Heart Huckabees”, its never a feeling you can come back to whenever you want. Life is ruled by cruelty, depression and pressure. And the good thing about knowing these experiences made by the devil, you can enjoy the other side (no thoughts and doubts, just watching) so much more.

Sometimes it happens:

You sit somewhere, you watch the people walk by, enjoy the staining landscape and listen to a song. And all of a sudden it throws you back in all your experiences from traveling, people you know, landscapes, situations, food and even the time before your travel time. Like your entire life runs through your vanes and happiness goes through your body, your mind. Its the most beautiful feeling I ever know.

You’re flying from thought to thought, from memory to memory … a Woah! feeling. It seems to be the same idea of a feeling people talk about who almost died and went in a second through their whole life and peace and freedom comes all over them.

Already little things are able to trigger this amazing feeling. It could be a Bird flying by, a man waving, a breeze blowing, a sun coming through clouds or even a leaf falling down from a tree. I thought about how to awake this feeling on purpose, but if I would figure out how, it wouldn’t come surprisingly anymore. And that’s another important part of it. You don’t know when you get it the next time. Like my panic attacks.

It seems to be that I need to have my panic attacks in order to get these amazing feelings. Thank you panic attacks. You take so much care of me.

Lets give it a name:
pure being accompanied with pure happiness. Very good.