At the moment I feel very great. The sun is out, I ride my bike again, meet new people, basically I enjoy spring as I should enjoy the first warm days in this city in this year. My situation is still the same: I call photographers to ask if they need assistance, I call up magazines to show them my portfolio, I work on my prints to update my portfolio, I email with publishing houses and send them links to my work and so far there is no benefit in sight. On April 21st I am invited to help on a shoot which is not payed, but I am looking forward to it indeed. Its not only the economy crisis what makes me not using my camera, its also true that I don’t have any appeal. Nothing is interesting enough, nothing seems to be worth and ideas i had occasionally in the past are disappeared. That’s how it is to be an artist I guess. Not cool. Shoot when I’m inspired and not because I have too. Its strange these days I actually make steps forward, less photography wise but personally. I gave up old patterns the way I think, I make full stops instead making periods and don’t think about stuff anymore what made me think so much that I couldn’t see today.

I guess I’m on my way to accept myself more again and learn things I didn’t have time to learn so far. Patience is one of it for instance. It seems to be that I needed to do this world trip to get a better understanding of this world and come back home again to actually understand more about myself.

I actually know that I am going to make it in this world of 2 billion photographers, maybe 5 billion. The way how I am going to make is it that makes me nervous and impatient.

My job situation isn’t better, I just learn how to deal with it.